A Wee Bit of Inspiration

"Abandon the scripts you hear and ask yourself, “What kind of life do I want to live?” That is what constitutes liberation — defining your life for yourself".

- Beverly Guy-Sheftall (in her interview at TheRoot ). 

 

pure. hilarity

So I just peed my pants.

No, I don't have bladder issues! I just read this piece written by a woman named Wendy Molyneux in response to an article on a website that asked for women to write more comedy pieces.

Actually...the best thing I have ever read.

Why IS it that people think women are not funny?! It boggles my mind because A) I think I am fricken hilarious, B) I know many MANY hilarious ladies, C) Every time any group of ladies gets together they spend most of the time laughing and D) WHAT  THE FUCK

Yes there are indeed female comedians but...now that I think about it...most of them are labelled as lesbians, feminists, butch dykes, or unattractive. And most of their material revolves around giving birth, tampons and periods, finding a  husband, and the like. I was watching the comedy network a couple of months ago and they were having some sort of contest or whatever and there was only one female comedian to take the stage. I was excited to watch her schtick and was secretly chanting in my head: "Don't do it. Don't talk about your period or the last blind date you had." She started out great! She wasn't talking about womanly issues or anything. But slowly, veeeery slowly....that is where her routine headed. I don't know why but I was so disappointed. While I get that you have a vagina and that you can very much relate to female issues because you have a vagina...why does that always have to be at the centre of a female comedians' stand-up routine? Why can't she talk about sports without mentioning that guys think she's a lesbian because she loves football or about working in a male-dominated workplace but not having to flirt her way to the top? WHY? These issues aren't funny...they are just giving men more reasons to not take us seriously and to laugh us off.

.....just like how a lot of ethnic or "non white" comedians focus on race and make fun of themselves or their culture. Or "fat" comedians only make fun of their weight - which in turn makes these issues into a light-hearted joke.

I totally get that whole "If you can't laugh at yourself..." shit but I mean....is it doing more bad than good?


And for fuck's sake - WOMEN CAN BE FUNNY. Wendy does an amazing job at blatantly pointing out all of the female stereotypes that we face all the freakin time. She is using what she knows from her experience of being a woman but not in a way that will make men turn around and laugh in our faces. She makes them feel like the joke.

P.S my favourite parts included:

"My cats love to be symbols of my loneliness. Sometimes, I have to be like, “Stop signifying so loudly guys, I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy!”"

"But I guess my humor deficiency is one of those womanly crosses I have to bear, along with P.M.S., making seventy cents on the dollar, and paying for my own rape kit. You know what they say though, you can’t make the willing pay for their own rape kits! I think they say that. Probably somebody said that. God knows I didn’t say it myself! I only say things like: “What are numbers?”"

and

"I’ve totally run out of time, and now instead of writing a comedy piece, I have to go report to my regular day job knitting tampon cozies and being best friends with everybody."

Hi.Lar.Ious. 

I'm a Feminist BLANK

I just read a really cool/interesting post on Feministing.

I've heard of a lot of people who are afraid of the term "feminist" and who hesitate to label themselves as such because, in a non-feminist society, it has such negative connotations and stereotypes. These literally scare people out of being able to identify with the term.

While I am not one of those individuals (yeah, I call myself a feminist - what the fuck is it to you?!), I do think that corroborating  it with another word that you use to describe yourself definitely could take some of the pressure off and makes it a little easier to tell the world who you are. I think this will allow people to see that just because one chooses to call themselves feminist, or relate to feminist views, doesn't mean they are extremists or that they have a singular identity. We are still people who have hobbies, jobs, and lifestyles just like everyone else.

So, I will take a page out of Lori's book and describe myself as such:

I am a feminist thinker.
I am a feminist theatre artist.
I am a feminist security guard! (Ha ha)
I am a feminist blogger.
I am a feminist movie-goer.
I am a feminist reader.
I am a feminist daughter, sister, and friend.
I am a feminist dater. (It's difficult!)

I must say that, in my personal opinion, someone who identifies with feminism or feminist opinions really should be bringing that into everything they do. It doesn't really make sense to pick and choose different situations or encounters to bust it out. You should be looking at the world through that lens all the time, where ever you are or whatever you are doing.

...Right?

I just finished reading Gail Dines' Pornland and it is truly one of the best books I have ever read.

There were times when her vivid details would force me to put it down for a moment or two but it was still awesome and informative. She says things that I have always felt but could never put into words.

Read it, dammit!

Especially all the guys out there. Guys who watch porn and have no idea of its effects, not only on women, but on themselves.

Apologies

Sorry it has been WAY too long since I have posted.
L.A is currently soaking up my time.
But you better believe I've got some shit to blog about the minute I get back on Canadian soil.

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Jenni S (the brave soul who started the petition against the Bic Soleil ad I posted about earlier) wrote to me in regards to an email she had received in response to the petition. The email she received was as follows:

I came across your petition about the bic razors being demeaning to women.

First of all, I believe women are much more sexual creatures than men. For example, it's much rarer for a man to have multiple orgasms than a woman. If I could have multiple extended orgasms, I'd definitely spend much more effort on attracting mates.

Sex is an incredible thing. Something pretty much everybody wants, and almost nobody has enough of. A woman who is comfortable with her body, rather than ashamed of it is HIGHLY empowered. If your parents didn't have sex, you wouldn't exist to complain about things, now would you?

Here's something interesting. What would you say about a woman who goes out and has sex with many many men, without ever dating them? Would you say she has no self-respect? Would you call her a slut? Many people would. "That girl has no self-respect because she didn't date the guy first! She didn't get something of value from him (his time and effort) before putting out! Slut!" What would you call someone who gets something of value in return for sex...? Yes, a whore. So on the one hand, we have girls who go out and have sex as much as they want without going into a long term relationship, apparently they're called sluts. On the other hand, we have the good girls, the ones that make sure they're getting something from a man, like a relationship, or security. We can call them whores. The high class whores will sign their sex over to one man. We can call these contract whores, or wives. A pretty terrible situation, isn't it? And it's being perpetuated by men AND women. I don't buy into this.

Wouldn't it be surprising if men were outraged if there was an ad depicting a man as being very sexual, doing his best to attract women? It would. Because men haven't been raised with this horrible idea that their chastity was valuable, and that their sexuality should be repressed and denied outright.

Sexuality, like any part of your personality, is something to be BROADCAST, not something to be ashamed of. It is a very high compliment to be thought of in a sexual manner. And no, it's not alright to be JUST thought of sexually. It's no secret that women can be mechanics, everyone knows that. But this isn't an ad for technical school. It quite frankly IS a sex ad. "Want sex? Men like shaved legs. We can help." 

****Women shave their legs because they want sex. And that's okay!****

Men will see women sexually whether advertisements exist or not. Women are using fashion to do what they can to attract their mates of choice.

Would you prefer if she was a dominatrix? Female dominance sure isn't traditional.

When I see cartoon characters depicting macho men, their chests are outrageously huge with obscenely broad shoulders. This does not bother men.

If you're of the opinion that women shouldn't be assigned roles - then why does it upset you that SOME women are depicted in traditional roles?

On another note, would you happen to know any powerful female executives? I'm an attractive young man and I'd like someone to take care of me in exchange for signing over exclusive sexual services. Let's flip the roles!

ps - the girl in that ad is a lesbian... prove me wrong. 

Jenni requested my help to refute this person's argument. So, I recruited Kelsy and together we came up with this:

Dear ******,

Your argument makes little to no sense. Here's a breakdown of why:

To begin with, see this blog post for a groundwork of why this ad is offensive: http://inspireme9.blogspot.com/2010/09/price-to-pay-for-smooth-legs.html

“Women are much more sexual creatures than men...”

Cite a source for this – it's completely untrue. The common conception is actually that men are far more sexual than women, but the reality is that both genders are equally as disposed to arousal. What I think you're referring to is the fact that the female body has been commonly used as a symbol for sexuality, which is exactly why this ad is problematic.

“It is much rarer for a man to have multiple orgasms than a woman.”

This makes no difference whatsoever. Unless you want to delve into the realm of female biology and anatomy and discuss the undisputed fact that a vast majority (over 70%) of women will never orgasm from intercourse alone, and that pornography – a multi-billion dollar industry denies and masks this fact – then let's stick to discussing razors.

“If your parents didn't have sex then you wouldn't exist to complain about things.”

So I shouldn't complain about sexual discrimination because sex is what created me? We aren't talking about the portrayal of sex here – we're talking about the portrayal of sexist imagery that demeans women. Sex is fantastic – sexism is not.

“Here's something interesting...”

To be honest, this point isn't interesting (or concise) at all. I would say that a woman who goes out and has plenty of sex is in control of her sex life – as long as she's doing it because she wants to rather than for the pleasure of men. Apparently you disagree. The point you've made is that there's a mediatized dichotomy between the notion of “good girl” and “bad girl” that is so binarized that it leaves little room for transition or the representation of healthy female sexuality. This, ******, is why the ad is so offensive in the first place – it does nothing to subvert this notion. You say you don't buy into this, but the ease with which you articulate it is extremely telling.

And absolutely – more men should be getting upset about the representation of their own sexuality as rampant, aggressive, brutal and uncontrollable. We're not saying that sexuality should be repressed and denied, but only that it should be represented in a more realistic way.

“Sexuality is something to be broadcast...”

Absolutely – broadcast it. But broadcast it realistically.

“It is a high compliment to be thought of sexually”

But isn't it also true that it's a high compliment to be thought of as smart? Or funny? Or any other personality trait not associated with sexual availability and prowess? Furthermore, this attitude of “it was just a compliment” is what validates people who harass women on the street or grab them as they walk past. You cannot presume to dictate what another person feels is a compliment – your right to compliment someone does not trump their right to be seen as a multi-dimensional being. Is it still a compliment if a man in my workplace tells me I have a nice ass? Because according to Bill 168, the new legislation for respect and violence in the workplace, it isn't the person's intent that matters, it's how a compliment was perceived. If you make someone uncomfortable with your advances, then you're legally in the wrong.

“Want sex? Men like shaved legs.”

Why is it that I can't shave my legs because I want to? Why is it always assumed that my first priority is to aestheticize myself for the enjoyment of men? Why can the message not tell us that if a man won't have sex with us based on the fact that we have hairy legs, then he should probably go to hell?

“Men will see women sexually whether these ads exist or not.”

True, but why do we need to only see one type of female body as attractive? We see this one type of body in every ad for every product, and it's extremely tiresome. And why does this female body have to be framed within the 1950's and idealized because of this association – this is an era where women were extremely oppressed. To add insult to injury, this woman is dressed more provocatively than she would have been in the 1950's in an attempt to sexualize her even further.

“...dominatrix”

I'd still take issue with this ad because it's still a sexualized vision of a woman, where her sexuality is at the forefront of the advertisement and is what is being used to sell the product. In an age where Cialis and Viagra can be advertised freely on tv, but female sexual enhancers such as Zestra are censored, it's flagrantly sexist to exploit an image of a woman's sexuality and then turn around and deny her sexual agency when it comes to her own pleasure.

“Cartoon men with chests...”

Some men do get upset about things like this. However, if you move beyond the realm of cartoons you'll find far more depictions of men who are not conventionally attractive and who are in powerful roles and often married to extremely beautiful women. 'Ugly' men are often portrayed as “cute” while 'ugly' women are portrayed as the butt of a joke.

Your last line in your email seems to be solicitation of prostitution. I'd be careful with that language if I were you.

Sincerely,

Megan, Kelsy and Jenni

Ps. Her sexuality makes no difference.

While we understand that some feminists feel as though it is not their job or obligation to school people on such issues, we feel that if we have the time and feel inclined to do so - we're entitled to take an active role and make things better for ourselves by teaching or informing others about these issues that affect us everyday. So if that means taking the time to write a blog or sending the occasional email to set things straight, then we're willing to make that commitment. 

We're posting this email because we are sure there are other people out there who think the same way, or along the same lines, as ******. We wanted to broadcast our response and opinions on the matter so that they can be taken as a sort of FAQ on where we stand. We hope that this will become a way to track the kind of responses that we're so used to hearing. 

The Price to Pay for Smooth Legs

I was on the subway about 2 weeks ago. I was sitting next to an elderly couple - man and woman - who were both staring at one of the many advertisements that the TTC posts in their subway cars. The ad was for Bic Soleil razors:

The elderly couple sitting next to me began discussing the ad. They questioned what the image had to do with the product that was being sold. Yes, they understood the legs and that razors are used on legs but...what did a 1950s style woman grocery shopping and buying cakes have to do with selling razors? They were stumped by this. They turned to me and asked, "Do you get it?". I let out a laugh and shook my head. "I don't get a lot of advertising these days" I replied.

While it warmed my heart to see this elderly couple discussing such a topic on the subway and that someone out there other than me was confused about this ad and openly questioning/discussing it....the ad is still there. People see it everyday and don't discuss or question it. They just take it in and allow it to get into their heads - convincing them that this is normal and this is how all women are or should be. 

Bic is actually "beckoning" us back to the 1950s - a time where women had very few rights or roles in society. The 50s was an era where women fought for equality at home and in the workplace. This is the era where the stereotype of the housewife was created and flourished! I get it - the 50s and 60s is a fad these days thanks to popular shows like Mad Men. But should we really be setting ourselves back after how far we've come over the past 50 years?

Not to mention that this is an incredibly idealized image of a woman. Yes, it is a cartoon version of a woman (which perhaps is what disguises the ad as "cutesy" with that  sort of "wink and nudge" humour that makes it seem less offensive than it is). But it is still an idealized one nonetheless. As soon as I saw it, it reminded me of that study about Barbie (the popular doll that millions of little girls own and play with growing up - hell, I know I did). If Barbie were a real person, her body would not be able to function properly nor would she be able to stand. Her weight and measurements would be so off kilter that she could not survive. That is what I think of when I see this Bic ad. The woman's legs are so disproportionate from the rest of her body. I find that most forms of media do something to the female figure that, outside of this context, would be considered absolutely ridiculous and brutal: dismemberment. Through the male gaze, the female body is dismembered into pieces (body parts). Dismemberment is an extremely violent act but we do this all the time to women in ads (figuratively speaking). You will see a shot of a woman's legs cut to a shot of her breasts, then to her pelvic region, etc. Women are never shown as a whole being or realistically as a whole woman (body parts are emphasized or more in focus than others) . And when she is displayed as a whole being, it is made to seem like it's an accumulation of these body parts that make up who she is. By doing this, it places such an importance on physical characteristics which, in turn, makes real women feel inadequate to the women portrayed in media. Furthermore, this isn't just an idealized image of a woman because of her physical appearance - it is also idealized because she is a stereotypical "housewife". A hypersexualized one at that. What man wouldn't want a passive, compliant, sexual woman who does their laundry, cleans the house, goes out to buy groceries and cakes with her ass in the air while he is at work? Glorifying this type of image - this type of woman - leads to men wanting and desiring this type of woman. And hey, I'm not bashing the housewives out there. If it is your choice to stay home and take care of your  family then all the power to you. But don't feel like you have no choice or that your husband won't want you if you decide to do something with your life other than cleaning and cooking. And  if he doesn't? Well he can fuck right off. (Just my opinion).

The mere fact the the ad mentions the word "beckon" makes it appear that women are asking for, seeking, or desiring male attention and that we enjoy it. Or that we crave it. Or that the only reason we shave our legs in the first place (other than that we are culturally conditioned to do so) is for attention and acceptance from and by men. This leads me to my next point: Why is it that the ad seems to appeal to the male eye when it is a product made for and targeted towards women? The only answer that I can think of is that Bic is trying to shame us into buying their razors (and they aren't the first company to do this and they most definitely won't be the last). They use this ad to make us feel bad about our bodies, or our hairy ass legs, so that we will run out and buy a Bic Soleil razor to rid ourselves of our ugliness. Because, of course, the only way to make us feel shitty about ourselves is to make us feel that we are not worth male attention. And the only way to warm our spirits? Men desiring us! The best cure for a crushed ego, right?

Why is this the only image of "attractive" women that we ever see? It conditions us to reject difference while maintaining a standard of what is considered beautiful and what is not. I heard a quote the other day from Kels in a book she is reading that said "The only thing shameful to expose is ugliness". No wonder we are the way we are (ads and other forms of media objectifying women which then makes men think its okay to objectify women which leads women to objectify themselves and other women).

I was able to find an online forum (The Big Orange Slide) that directly asks people to post and comment on whether they think this particular Bic ad is sexist. 

Check it out. It's really interesting to read other people's opinions.

A few that I liked were:

Brook Johnston: "‘Sexist’ seems to sell when aimed at the opposite sex (see: Axe Deodorant, 90% of beer brands), but not so much when you’re mocking your own". 

Muffinczar: "It is sexist to assume that men were in the captain’s chair when navigating this campaign". 

Leilah Ambrose: "Would it be more patronizing if the same scene had been rendered photographically instead?". 

Jenni Sager: "I am glad I’m not the only one who finds this offensive. I literally JUST finished creating a publishing a petition against this advertising campaign. Please check it out if you feel the same.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Women-Arent-Objects/

I respect that some of you disagree but I am not particularly good at arguing a point (refuting what you who don’t agree with me are saying). I simply am offended by this poster, it’s my interpretation and I don’t think I am alone in feeling that way".

So, Bic..fuck off. And take your poorly thought out advertising campaign with you. That is the last thing I want to see during my commute to work.

Katy Perry: "It's just pop!"

I discovered this and thought I would post it considering I have a track record of tearing apart Katy Perry and her work.

The New York Times' A Pop Cartoon Springs Out of the Playbook discusses Perry's upbringing as an Evangelical Christian, her celebrity "persona",  and her own opinion of herself and her fame.

The part that kind of bothers me is this:

"It was, after all, just pop: that was Ms. Perry’s line of defense, to call her work lightweight, fun, throwaway".

and

"Ms. Stein noted that, unlike Lady Gaga — the totem to all female pop singers these days — Ms. Perry is not very threatening, obscenities and innuendo notwithstanding. “She hews to the model of a pretty girl being pretty and filling feminine roles, really while nominally subversive,” she said. “She might be winking, but the rest of her body is pretty naked while she does it.”"

How the hell can you be a celebrity and not know or understand that what you do and say has an affect on people? Yeah, sure, it isn't fair that you automatically become a role model to people you don't even know -  so don't become a celebrity then. You want people to listen to your music? Then you need to understand that people listen to the messages that this music sends. It is not "just pop". It is not just something to "throwaway". Little girls listen to your music, youtube your videos, watch your interviews and try to imitate you. That is not something to be taken lightly.

As for her "filling feminine roles" - isn't this just her perpetuating gender stereotypes? While I understand what Stein is saying (Perry is simply SAYING she is subversive/going against the norm but is not ACTING that way at all - she is conforming to the very way that society tells her to), the issue I have with Stein's statement is the very fact that she mentioned "feminine roles" without acknowledging that these roles are a patriarchal creation used to perpetuate gender stereotypes. Additionally, she states that Perry "hews to the model of pretty girl". To me, this just denotes that there ARE certain roles and molds for females to fill. And it also sets up the notion of what is considered pretty and beautiful (a celebrity like Katy Perry). Yes, I get that society has set these stereotypes and roles in place but shouldn't we be trying to reverse or change this instead of just accepting them because they are universal? To me, even using those terms in an argument against them is acknowledging their existence and giving them some power.

And the whole "winking while naked thing" - I think this is a big reason Perry is sometimes overlooked as being an unfeminist douchebag. She really camps it up. She's sitting there half-naked but oh look! She's winking! Ha Ha it must all be a joke because she is smiling and laughing at herself! So I'm not gonna take her and her naked unfeminist ass seriously then. Well, sorry Katy, but you didn't fool me. You ARE still naked and you ARE still promoting the wrong message to women everywhere. And to men too. About women.

She is also being compared to Lady Gaga - it says that unlike Gaga, Perry is not threatening and her obscene behaviours and sexual innuendos don't hold out. I agree that Gaga IS extremely obscene but that doesn't mean that Perry is any better simply because her behaviours and statements "aren't as bad". We can't ignore the controversy that Perry sparks just because there is someone out there worse than she. We need to question and challenge it all, in my opinion.

And for kicks, here are a list of other things noted that semi piss me off:

(About Perry's listening party for her new album "Teenage Dream"): "If she were Lady Gaga she might have required a walkway built of trellised stuffed animals or prostrate assistants; instead there were just models in bikinis, eating cotton candy and tossing a beach ball: postcard Americana."

"Asked if she ever regretted not finishing school, she said: “No, because spell-check exists everywhere.” "

"Mr. Thompson of EMI credited her past failures with her ability to be relatable even as she ascended to stardom."

"She values cuteness — “Ready, spaghetti,” she’ll say — but is more biting than gee-whiz." 

"“California Gurls” has spent more than three months at or near the top of the Billboard Hot 100, where it was recently joined by the title track from “Teenage Dream”"

Despite my frustrations here I do, however, semi-halfheartedly applaud the Times for even mentioning that her songs, "persona", and credibility have been questioned throughout her career.

"No" means "NO"

I really like this. And appreciate it.

Bravo to the MCSR organization for creating this ad. And extra points for not just focusing on and including white hetero relationships too!

A "no" is a "no. It doesn't matter if it's said prior to or when you are already lying there naked. A "no" is still a "no". And if a person is not conscious, or coherent enough, to say "no" - 100% that's still a "no".

Respect a person's "no". Respect a person's right to say "no". Don't have expectations. Don't assume. No one owes you anything.

"(Un)feminist Guilty Pleasures"

So I read this article today on Feministing and it resonated with me because, as you can tell from a lot of my blogs, I focus on pop culture, especially music, and the degree to which it reflects how we see ourselves as people and as a society.

(Un)feminist Guilty Pleasures: Taylor Freaking Swift talks about Taylor Swift's music and how, even though it portrays a great deal of misogynist, heterosexual, patriarchal, un-feminist views, the writer still continues to enjoy her music.


And while I enjoy ripping apart certain songs for their complete objectification and degradation of women - I, too, do still enjoy some songs that contain lyrics that do this (although I'd like to think those lyrics are  more subtle than calling women "bitches" and "hoes" and comparing them to cars). I can't help it! As Kelsy likes to say: "We need to look at ourselves before we start pointing the finger at others". And she's right. So I am taking this as an opportunity to look at myself and question some of the music (and other pop culture/media) choices that  I make. And I do. I do on a daily basis. For example, I thoroughly enjoy watching Jersey Shore. And there have been times where I watch it and see the "characters" say or do things that I think are completely ridiculous, degrading, and the like. I ask myself, "Why the fuck am I watching this garbage?". But I enjoy it. It's a guilty (un)feminist pleasure. And as long as I am aware of  this - that this show portrays un-feminist views and messages that I downright disgree with and oppose - then I can justify it to myself. I sort of take it as a learning experience.

As Shahida Arabi noted in the comments section of the article:

It’s always important to challenge the music we listen to–even though as a feminist it can get frustrating always identifying things we “should” not like, but do–I say, continue with our guilty pleasures, but stay mindful of the messages music sends.

And I think she hits the nail on the head. It is okay to enjoy movies and music and the like - even though they may objectify women or send a negative message - but as long as we are constantly aware of these messages and are learning from such mediums then watch or listen away! It's when we let these things fly over our heads or go in one ear and out the other that creates a problem. When we start to exemplify, accept, and condone these behaviours and messages without acknowledging their impact or effect on others or ourselves - that's when we have a bigger issue.

Food for Thought

Post Secret

Love this site. Check it out.

It makes me wonder what secrets I have. Is there something that I have never ever told anyone before? What I would be willing to write anonymously on a postcard?


Post Secret.

For Every Girl

 I saw this on Feministing the other week and decided to share it.

I understand that a lot of the things I write about deal with the way that women are treated and often leave out the dilemmas and issues that men face.

This poster shows that gender stereotypes do not just affect women - they have a negative impact on men as well. So while most of my rants discuss women and the problems we face in society - I want all the males out there to know that I am not disregarding your struggles.

When you create gender stereotypes, you put things into categories. You give something a label. And everything that does not fit into a category/cannot be labelled becomes "other" or "abnormal". So when there is a man who does not act stereotypically "male" - he is considered more "female" or "girly" or "gay". Or if a woman does something or acts in a way that is attributed to males - she is "butch" or "a dyke". And what about people who don't fit into the categories of male and female? As Jonanna Widner of Bitch magazine writes in her article "Top of the Pops: Justin Bieber's a lesbian hair icon - or is it the other way around?":

A 16-year-old boy-man whose testicles don’t seem to have dropped, with a strange haircut and a baseball cap that’s three sizes too big? Cool. A thirtysomething woman rocking that same look? Cue the panicky reactions. Why is that person wearing a tie buying tampons? This person is not fitting into my regimented paradigm! What happened to the rules?

But those spaces between girl/not girl, boy/not boy, growing up/not growing up are where queers belong, and here’s why: They’re not cramped crevices into which we are shoved, but rather spaces we have carved out for ourselves.

I am aware that her article is talking about how Justin Bieber's haircut is one sported by many lesbians (or vice versa: Bieber is sporting a lesbian hair-do). But I feel as though her conclusion is one that relates to what I am talking about: that when something steps outside the boundaries of what is considered "normal", it becomes an outcast and is made aware of its difference(s).

While I still say that women are far more objectified than men, I get that men, too, have to deal with the negative impact of gender stereotypes. It's gotta be tough for a guy not be able to cry when he feels like shit because he will be seen as weak. I feel for you. But then why is it so hard for you to see our point of view when we want to try to diminish these types of issues in our society? Yeah, sure, it'll do a hell of a lot of good for women but it'll help out the men too. That is what I think is a huge misconception about Feminism. People think that women want to have all the power. That we're angry and want to take out our anger on men. Um. no. We just want to make this world we live in a better place for everyone (including ourselves). Because, essentially, that is exactly what would happen. If there wasn't such a negative connotation on what it is to be female, and females in general, then men wouldn't have to fear being seen as weak, lesser than, or "womanly". We would embrace difference instead of fearing it. Everyone would have a place.

So support our wishes and motivation to change things. Don't fear the word "feminism" - embrace it. . Because you, too, will reap the benefits.

"P-p-poke her face"

Ho.Ly. Shit.


Um, so I’m not really a big fan of Lady Gaga’s music but I now she’s a popular gal these days and everyone seems to think she’s the next Madonna.

I had heard her song “Poker Face” before but today….today I heard a rather different version that simply uses a variation of the title and the chorus of Lady Gaga’s acoustic edition of the song.

It made me wanna barf. And punch something. Or someone. Reeeeaaaallllly hard.

I’m sure you’ll feel the same. And if you don’t. I will punch you. Reeeeaaaallllly hard.

The song is “I Poke Her Face” by Kid Cudi feat. Kanye West (surprise surprise) and someone that goes by the name of Common.


I make her say
Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh-oh
When I
P-p-p-poker face
P-p-poke her face
I make her say
Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh-oh
What up
P-p-p-poker face
P-p-poke her face
Me first!

She wanna have whatever she like
She can if she bring her friend
And we can have one hell of a night
Through the day
Eh, I mean staring like a creeper cause you gotta peep 'er
I mean you probably might be saying you aint jockin' either
But man, o girl got a fat ol' ass
Yeah, the type that make you tell a bitch just dance
And fuck them other niggas cause you down for her b!tches
Fuck them other niggas cause she down for the stickin'
And fuck them other niggas hope she down for some lickin'
And fuck them other b!tches
Cause she's down for the trickin' up
I'm hopin' she a rider
When its said and done
And she spit it up and swallow now
I ain't got a trip about them niggas who like her
But me and mammy know who can really make her go

Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh-oh(When I)
P-p-p-poker face
P-p-poke her face
(I make her say)
Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh-oh(When I)
P-p-p-poker face
P-p-poke her face

Kanye West
She said she want whatever she like
She said she gone' bring her friend
Now we gone' have a hell of a night
Through the day
I made her say
Hold up, born in 88'
How old is that? Old enough
I got seniority with the sorority
So, that explain why I love college
Gettin' brain in the library cause I love knowledge
When you use your Medulla Oblongata
And give me scoliosis until I comatoses
And do it while I sleep yeah a little osmosis
And that's my commitment you ain't gotta ask Moses
More champagne more toast'es
More damn planes, more coast'es
And fuck a bus, the Benz is parked like Rosa ....

I make her say
Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh-oh
When I
P-p-p-poker face
P-p-poke her face
I make her say
Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh-oh
When I
P-p-p-poker face
P-p-poke her face
I make her say

Common
She said she want whatever she like
But she gotta bring your friend
We could have a hell of a night, through the day
She blamed it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol
She had her hair did, it was bound to fall
Down, down for a damn, Cudi already said it
A poker face book I already read it
But man, her head was gooder than the music
electro body known to blow fuses
A stripper from the south lookin for a payday
Said bitch you should do it for the love like Ray Jay
But they say you be on that conscious tip
Get your hair right and get up on this conscious dick
I embody everything from the Gali to the party
Its the way I was raised on the south side safari, so

Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh-oh
(When I)
P-p-p-poker face
P-p-poke her face
(I make her say)
Oh, oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh-oh-oh
(When I)
P-p-p-poker face
P-p-poke her face

Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
She's got me like nobody

Can't read my, can't read my
No he can't read my poker face
She's got me like nobody

I….I…don’t….even know where to begin…..

Right off the bat there are indications that Kid Cudi is calling dibs on being the first one to “p-p-poke her face”. Oh, but “only if she bring her friend”. Cause two girls are obviously better than one. We have learned that valuable lesson from pop culture before: men want multiple women.

“Staring like a creeper cause you gotta peep’er”? I think Kid Cudi needs to read some Schrödinger’s Rapist. And perhaps get a grammar lesson too.

I guess a woman who has a “fat ol’ ass” is the type who deserves to be called a bitch. Actually, it seems that Cudi refers to all women as “b!tches”. Disrespect at its finest. At the end of the day, all Cudi wants is his “bitch” to “stick, lick and trick”. He hopes that she’s a “rider” He wants her to “spit it up and swallow”. Sounds like Cudi wants himself a porn star or a prostitute. Well, don’t worry Cudi – that’s what our young generation of women are being trained to be so they’re on their way!

Enter Kanye. Everyone already knows you’re a douchebag Kanye but it’s been a while since you tried to trump Taylor Swift with your own oversized ego so I guess you felt like we needed to be reminded of your douchebagery.

Weird, though, how you were hating on Taylor Swift since apparently girls born in 1988 aren’t too young for you at all. “How old is that?” you ask. That would make her 22 but would you really stop to ask a girl her age when she’s “stickin, lickin, and trickin”? Methinks not you misogynistic prick.

Do you really have “seniority with the sorority” or is that just you assuming you have the right to prey on young woman because you have a penis? You love college? I bet that’s what a lot of potential rapists think, too.

Question: why is it that artists use words that rhythm but don’t actually make sense in the context of their usage? So…you want some girl to give you a blowjob in a library until you get scoliosis (a medical term for “crooked spine”) and until you become comatose? And then continue to blow you while you are in a coma? Do you even know what “osmosis” is? Again, methinks not. I think you just wanted to use a fancy word that rhymed.

Well looks like someone paid attention in history class. He makes reference to Rosa Parks. And compares her to a car. Nothin’ like a man who can turn a woman (a historical figure who people called “the mother of the freedom movement”) into an object. Degradation at it’s best.

I don’t know who this “Common” character is. I guess anyone can get a record deal these days. The only prerequisite, it seems, is that you have to degrade women or degrade yourself.

Common says this girl’s blowjobs are better than the music. Oh wait, “gooder than the music”. My bad. But atleast he’s right about something. A blowjob WOULD be better than this music. (Can we even call this music? Seriously).

It wouldn’t be a modern day mainstream song written and performed by males if it didn’t put emphasis on the female body or compare women to strippers. Remember my blog entry about strippers? How I asked, “Would you rather she do it for free?”. Common seems to think so – he would tell her: “bitch you should do it for the love”. Ah yes, because ALL strippers LOVE being strippers. They love getting naked for the entertainment of men. They don’t have any negative feelings on the subject what.so.ever.

It’s alright, though. This stripper will “get up on that (his) conscious dick” because he embodies everything that a southern boy should.

It is obvious that this “female” they are discussing, degrading, and dehumanizing in their lyrics is one that is being shared by all 3 men. They keep referring back to what the person prior to them had noted (“Cudi already said it”).

Being a white woman, I feel kind of nervous talking about race and pointing the finger at black men who are affecting black culture. I get it. I’m not black so how dare I say anything about how black men are affecting other black people. But this type of music has an affect on ALL cultures and all races and all genders. It is music like this that creates and perpetuates the stereotypes of a race or group of people. No, you do not speak for everyone. But the fact that you are a person in the media – a person that people listen to and sometimes look up to and emulate – you are somewhat of a representative for your race and gender. Just like how Katy Perry is a representative of a white woman in her 20s – Kanye, Kid Cudi, and Common are spokesmen for young black males and males in general.

I think bell hooks says it best (well obviously she does because she is a writer and I am not) when, in her article "Sexism and Misogyny:Who Takes the Rap? Misogyny, gangsta rap, and The Piano" , she says:

Without a doubt black males, young and old, must be held politically accountable for their sexism. Yet this critique must always be contextualized or we risk making it appear that the behaviors this thinking supports and condones,--rape, male violence against women, etc.-- is a black male thing. And this is what is happening. Young black males are forced to take the "heat" for encouraging, via their music, the hatred of and violence against women that is a central core of patriarchy.

We cannot point the finger at black men. We have to point the finger at all men. Men in general. It’s not because they are black that they think this way about women – it’s because they, along with men from every other race in existence, have witnessed this since day one.

Race and gender are like Siamese twins. They are connected. And it is really difficult to separate them.

And it’s really difficult to fathom why people listen to this kind of bullshit music – women included.

"Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well"

This made my day and I am madly in love with it. I wish that everyone everywhere could read this.
(*note: I did not know who or what Schrödinger was before I read it. But thanks to Wikipedia - such an awesome and reliable resource - I now do: he was an Austrian theoretical physicist. His "thought experiment(s)" test a certain hypothesis, theory or principle. "The common goal of a thought experiment is to explore the potential consequences of the principle in question".)

Now please...click here

It has happened to me like I'm sure it has happened to every other women out there. A stranger, a guy, approaches you as you walk down the street, while you're riding the TTC, while you're grocery shopping - anything, you name it - and tries to strike up conversation or compliments you. Guys wonder why girls don't like this or why we seem standoffish and freaked out. But instead of finding out the exact reason why we are acting as such - most men I have encountered get angry, defensive, annoyed, and the like. Yes, I understand that we are  in a public space and you have as much right to be there as I do. But that does not give you the right to talk to me and that does not give you the right to shrug off and ignore my "not interested", "you're freaking me out", "who the fuck are you and why are you talking to me?" signals or my flat out "no's". Can you not take a hint? Do you want to be seen as a potential threat to a woman's life? Because that is exactly what you are becoming when you do this.


Something that has always struck me as...off...and unfair is: if a guy is hitting on, or talking to, me and I don't like it or feel uncomfortable - I am expected to be a bitch and tell him to go fuck himself. And, yes, as much as I would like to (and sometimes do) I do not feel that I should have to. It is not my fault that guys are oblivious and can't get the hint that I don't want to talk to them/I am uncomfortable/I am afraid for my life because that person could be a  potential rapist. Just like it's not my responsibility to ensure that guys don't oogle over me if I wear a short skirt or a low-cut top. I can wear whatever I want and you don't have the right to look at me or say anything if I do. It's not up to me to keep your sexuality in check.

 And the sad thing is, this is one of the biggest double standards that I face. If I don't want you talking to me and I tell you so or make it known - I'm a bitch. But if I don't (and perhaps choose to remain polite, nice, and throw in some subtle hints because I don't want to be rude or make you feel bad about yourself)? I'm a tease. I can't win! I'm screwed if I do and I'm screwed if I don't.

It's time to take responsibility for yourself, boys. Own up. And read this article because you could learn a few things. You don't walk from the subway to your apartment alone at 1am holding your keys in your hand ready to use them as a weapon because you think the guy walking behind you is going to drag you into the bushes and rape you. And I'm not exaggerating. This is actually how women think. We live on a rape schedule. And can you really blame us?

"Sex Sells"

Comparison. Expectation. Assumption.

“Sex sells”. I’ve heard it many times. I am sure you have too. Not only do you hear it from advertising agencies defending their attempts to sell products but it is now embedded in the minds of everyday people. And the media is to blame.

We often wonder why society is so “numb” when it comes to seeing sexual, pornographic and violent images. The shock value has disappeared. And this is perhaps why mainstream pornography is widely accepted these days. Because porn is the replacement for advertising. Yes, I understand that advertising images are not portraying full on penetration but they might as well be! The message depicted is the same: that women/females are defined by their bodies. We, as a society, get away with objectifying the women in these ads because they aren’t “real” – they are billboards, commercials, pamphlets, etc. Since they aren’t “real” women, we don’t have to feel guilty about objectifying them. But, sadly, this translates to real life and we begin to treat real women this way.  Using the female body as a sexual object to sell products is the new norm.

You see it everywhere - ads for clothing, beer, cleaning products, items used for personal hygiene, and the list goes on. What does the female body have to do with a cold beer? Nothing. That’s the thing. But beer is a product targeted towards men (because women don’t enjoy beer, right?) and what better way to attract male customers than by offering them something else that they get pleasure from: women. But these companies don’t stop there. They offer a woman who is hyper sexualized, willing to do whatever it takes for male attention and satisfaction, has no mind of her own and nothing important to say. She’s a “convenience”. The most easily accessible convenience there is. She’s a great alternative to your wife, fiancé or girlfriend who is just oh so average looking, who doesn’t put out quite enough to fulfill your needs, who can make decisions for herself, who is intelligent with an abundance of important things to say. In other words, this “woman” who the advertising company has so happily created for men is a great substitute for the real woman they may have at home.

The ads that beer companies use to sell their product are just few of the many that use sex and the female body to make money or improve sales. Like this, for instance. Perhaps here. Here, (prepare yourself), HERE, aaaaaaand here.

I think its safe to say that the replacement of advertising with sexualized images (more so than not featuring women) is the result of the rise of “porn culture”. Mainstream pornography not only degrades women, but allows others to partake in the degradation of women. By buying porn, streaming it or downloading it, your actions are supporting the sexualization and degradation of women. Pornography is hurting real everyday women. We are expected to act, look, and have sex, like porn stars. We are expected to have sex at all times of the day in whatever position is required and in whatever location is preferred. Our bodies are expected to look like the bodies seen in pornography – with fake tits, fake tans, and even sometimes fake vaginas. And when we don’t comply with all of these things – we are seen as prudes. We are made to feel unusual. We are subconsciously (and sometimes not) compared to these “women”. Porn is a performance. While it is indeed a realistic act, it is performance in that it requires an audience and is for entertainment sake. And that is why I add quotations when I refer to them as “women” – because they are merely performing what it is to be “women”. It is an act. I am in no way denouncing them as real people outside of the porn set.

Being a woman, I can write about this because I feel it. I have experience with this issue. I feel as though I cannot always enjoy sex because I constantly feel at competition with girls in porn. It has never been blatantly said to me that I need to act more like a porn star during sex, but I have heard things such as “I need to get this on video” and “Yeah, tell me how good that feels. Tell me how good my cock feels in your pussy”.

I am not a porn star. And while everyone has things that turn them on (“different strokes for different folks”), I don’t like being talked to like that. It makes me feel uncomfortable and obligated to say things I wouldn’t normally say or that I don’t want to say. But if I don’t? I fear I may not be “good” at sex or I may not be considered attractive in bed. Most of the time I voice my awkwardness and inability to say these things but…why should I have to?

It shouldn’t be this way. No woman should ever have to worry that her husband, fiancé, boyfriend, lover, etc. is thinking about another woman when with her - especially a woman that is an image on a television or computer screen. I’m not saying that porn stars are not real people or that they don’t have real feelings or thoughts. But when men put them on a pedestal they become a preferred replacement for the real women they are having sex with – an unrealistic one at that.

Porn exists that doesn’t depict rape, violence, and humiliation. However, it does not get publicized as much as mainstream pornography does. And this is a problem. If boys grow up only watching mainstream porn then this violent and unrealistic portrayal of sex is all that they come to know which lends a hand in how they view women as sexual objects and degrade them as such.

A Must Read

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
This article made me pee I was laughing so hard. It is truly ridiculous.

http://christwire.org/2010/08/is-my-husband-gay/

She Ain't Worth Shit

Last night I was witness to a conversation between two guys I know about strippers. One of them made this statement:

“I don’t like paying $20.00 for only 3 minutes”.

Obviously, he is referring to lap dances.

What gets me about this statement – and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in addition to making me feel sick to my stomach – was that a) you are voluntarily and consciously attending a venue where men sit and watch women get naked for entertainment purposes and, furthermore, you request, pay, and partake in a lapdance where a woman grinds and dances her naked body all up on your for your entertainment and pleasure (I have a hard time figuring out why men want this – what is the reason behind it? I’m pretty sure there are rules set out to ensure that you, “the customer”, can’t touch her. So, what? Does it give you a stiffy? Is that what you get out of it?), b) you don’t think that she is worth $20.00, and c) you are determining her “value” based on what she can do for you – sexually.

You spend more than $20.00 on a meal, you spend more than $20.00 filling up your gas tank, you spend more than $20.00 on a tshirt, snowboarding equipment, a bottle of wine, a pair of shoes, your cell phone bill – you spend more than $20.00 on all of these day to day material things but $20.00 is too much to ask for a woman to take off her clothes and give you a lap dance??

That’s fucked.

While I don’t think that women should have any dollar value placed upon them or mark their worth, it happens and will continue to happen. It’s the individuals who further perpetuate this notion that I want to ring by the neck. It’s those who attend strip clubs that I have an issue with, especially when you complain about how the dollar you are spending is unreasonable. This is a woman we’re talking about here – a human being – and to say that she isn’t worth $20.00 of your paycheque, $20.00 that you probably spend on the most frivolous of things, is utterly dehumanizing. You are saying that she is less than the meal you paid for last night or that DVD you bought yesterday.

What would be a “reasonable” price for you then? Would you rather she do it for free? Do you feel like she owes it to you because she is a stripper and that’s her job? I guess because she is a stripper and is therefore “not a real person” you feel like she is just a faceless body or a tool used to entertain you sexually. She has no real feelings or a family or lifestyle to pay for, right?

I asked the two guys: “You pay for lapdances?”

“Yeah, we have before.”

Me: “That’s gross.”

And the response?

“You’re a girl – of course you don’t get it.”

I don’t get it? The reason I DO get it is because I’m a fucking girl, you morons. I live this shit. And it’s ignorant fucks like you who promote the degradation of women and make girls like me feel the impact of it everyday.

M.E 2 Katy Perry 0

So, as I wrote yesterday, 'California Girls' isn't the only shit-filled oppressing song that Katy Perry has spat out.

Today's post will focus on her other recent track: 'Teenage Dream'. It should actually be called 'Teenage Wet Dream' because that's exactly what the lyrics imply:

You think I'm pretty
Without any makeup on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the punchline wrong
I know you get me
So I let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck but things
Were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my Valentine, Valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing
In my skin tights jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight


Yoooouuu
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
No

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing
In my skin tights jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
(Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight)

Firstly, just because a dude says you look good without makeup and tells you you're funny even when you're a blithering idiot does not necessarily mean he loves you and that you should throw your virginity, vagina (or dignity) at him. I feel like young women (well, a lot of women) have such a false impression of what love is and that is why they are having sex younger and younger. They think that love = sex and the media plays a large role in this. Now, don't get me wrong, if an individual feels like they want to have sex or explore their sexuality then they are free to do so without judgment. But girls should make a conscious decision to do so out of their own desires/curiosity - not because they think that guys will like them more, or even love them, if they have sex.

The second verse sets up the idea that Katy Perry, or the "girl" in this "love" story, was in an awful place before she met this guy. And that's fine. Some people go through dark times and meet people along the way that help them out of these woes. But then Katy suddenly breaks into "Let's go all the way tonight". Um, wait a second…weren’t you just depressed and all “boo hoo – I’m a wreck and things are heavy” like 2 seconds ago? Oh right, I forgot: this isn’t REAL life – it’s Katy Perry’s life. So I guess sex makes you forget about your problems and a guy wanting to bang your brains out makes you feel good about yourself. Yeaaaah….that feeling will last for all of 5 minutes or until he climbs off of you, cleans up his splooge, and bounces. That is, until next time he sees you are down and vulnerable – he’ll know just what to say and do to make you feel good again and look what’s in it for him! Some vagine. And isn’t this kind of hinting that if a guy ever gets you through a hard point in your life, you owe him something for the favour? Sex it is, I guess! Yep, sure, I'll let you stick your dick in me for being a good friend. It's the least I can do. It’s what society has taught me to do. It is really the only thing of value that I have; the female body acts as currency. I could just return the favour by being there for you and being your shoulder to cry on when the time comes but obviously my job as a woman is to be their for your sexual satisfaction. This makes me think of guys who put on the act of “the nice guy” to get women to fall for them or to get them into bed. And I’m not making it up - it happens. I know someone personally who came up with a plan to be super sweet, nice and charming to his ex-girlfriend – sending her nice texts, taking her out to the movies, holding her hand, bringing her coffee – just so that she will “see how great he is” and, in turn, will want him back. And when this happens, he plans on rubbing it in her face that she broke up with him and she won’t find anyone as great as he is. Isn’t that FUCKED UP? He doesn’t want to BE a good person – he wants to fake it to make someone feel regret. Disgusting.

"You make me feel like I'm livin a teenage dream the way you turn me on. I can't sleep". I didn't know that all teenagers were that horny ALL the time. I mean, yeah puberty can mess with your hormones, but as far as I remember - I wasn't sitting in ninth grade science class fantasizing about all the dry humping I would be doing as soon as the bell rang. In fact, I remember being terrified of the idea of a penis and what it would do to me. I remember hearing about the girls who did choose to lose their virginity and thinking "Oh my Lord, weren't they scared?!". Then again, Katy Perry hadn't appeared in pop culture then so, maybe that explains my fear of the “holy” penis. I just read an article today that discusses the struggles women encounter with sex and orgasms (see link at bottom of post). It says that “our culture puts a tremendous amount of pressure on women to be sexy and sexually responsive” and “societies that don’t value female satisfaction restrict sex to what men enjoy”. It’s not easy for women to enjoy sex and focus on their own pleasure when “genuine female sexuality is culturally invisible and what is visible is a pornified facsimile of female desire”. And how true it is! These lyrics create an unrealistic representation of female sexuality. It makes guys treat you like porn stars and makes you act like one to pleasure and satisfy them.

Katy goes on to sing about how her heart stops when this guy looks at her and how "now baby" she believes "this is real". Real what, Katy? Real love? The media already sets an unrealistic, romanticized idea of what a loving relationship is, which, in turn, sends the message that this is what young girls need to, and should, strive for the moment they hit puberty and what they should expect. Now sex is thrown into the mix. Way to further society’s already twisted concept of love! Bravo.

Wouldn’t be a Katy Perry song if she wasn’t singing about California, beaches, booze and sex in skuzzy places! Looks like getting drunk on a beach and getting some ass in a dirty motel room (forgive me, I have a phobia of motel rooms) is the thing to do these days. Well it is if you want to feel complete, according to Katy. I’ll keep that in mind: if I want to feel better about myself I need to let some guy fuck me in some unwashed motel sheets. *shudders*

You can clearly get the gist of this deeply moving track (note the sarcasm) in the lines “I’mma get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans”. Yet again, Katy makes it clear that a woman’s ability to attract a guy lies in her physical appearance. I had better race to the mall and buy myself some skin tight pants (camel toe anyone?) if I ever want a guy to find me attractive.

It’s songs like these, and other forms of media, that have desensitized the youth of today. Sex is everywhere – in television and film, in music videos, advertisements, commercials, etc. We are being slapped across the face with sexual images of women and over time we have become numb to it. We no longer tense up preparing for it and we no longer feel the sting when it happens.



http://community.feministing.com/2010/08/12/taking-female-sexuality-out-of-the-male-box/#more-11419

What They're Really Saying

After being introduced to Sarah Haskin's hilarious videos "Target Women", I have become obsessed with the idea of creating my own web videos. While Haskins focuses on gender stereotypes in all different kinds of media (see link at bottom of post), my interest (well, my interest at the moment) lies in song lyrics.

I drive to and from work and it is roughly a 30-40 minute commute. At times I pop in a cd but more often than not I listen to the radio. The stations that my car radio are auto set to are: Q107, 102.1 The Edge, 103.3, 97.7, 104.5 Chum FM and 99.9 Virgin Radio. So, I hear a variety of music played on these stations ranging from classic rock to punk, alternative to pop, grunge to r&b and hip hop - you name it.

Since becoming a feminist and reading and learning more about gender stereotypes and how women are portrayed in the media, I am more aware than ever - even listening to the radio. It is insane how I never REALLY listened to what songs were saying before. If I liked the beat or enjoyed an artist's voice, I would blast the tune and sing along (even if I did look like a crazy person driving down the street). But my new found feminist radar has kicked into full gear and I cannot believe some of the lyrics in songs that air these days. What gets me is that if I didn't realize what these songs were actually saying - how are the kids and teens listening going to take them?

Therefore, I want to start blogging about music and song lyrics. I want to analyze what they are REALLY saying and how this, in turn, creates gender stereotypes and degrades women.

Thus, I will begin with what I think is one of the most obvious (and awful) examples of this: Katy Perry.

Katy Perry's "song of the summer" 'California Girls' was one that, when I first heard it on the radio, I bopped along to. And then I actually listened to what she was saying:

[Snoop Dogg]
Greetings loved ones
Let's take a journey

[Katy Perry - Verse 1]
I know a place
Where the grass is really greener
Warm, wet and wild
There must be somethin' in the water
Sippin' gin and juice
Layin' underneath the palm trees (Undone)
The boys
Break their necks
Try'na creep a little sneak peek (At us)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Golden Coast
Once you party with us
You'll be falling in love
Oooooh oh oooooh

[Katy Perry - Chorus]
California girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
We'll melt your Popsicle
Oooooh oh oooooh

California girls
We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock
Westcoast represent
Now put your hands up
Oooooh oh oooooh

[Katy Perry - Verse 2]
Sex on the beach
We don't mind sand in our Stilettos
We freak
In my Jeep
Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo (Oh oh)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Golden Coast
Once you party with us
You'll be falling in love
Oooooh oh oooooh

[Katy Perry - Chorus]
California girls
We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
We'll melt your Popsicle
Oooooh oh oooooh

California gurls
We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock
Westcoast represent
Now put your hands up
Oooooh oh oooooh

[Snoop Dogg - Verse 3]
Toned, tanned
Fit and ready
Turn it up 'cause it's gettin' heavy
Wild, wild Westcoast
These are the girls I love the most
I mean the ones
I mean like she's the one
Kiss her
Touch her
Squeeze her buns (huh!)

The girl's a freak
She drives a Jeep
and lives on the beach
I'm okay
I won't play
I love the Bay
Just like I love L.A.
Venice Beach
And Palm Springs
Summertime is everything

All the boys
Bangin' out
All that ass
Hangin' out
Bikinis, zucchinis, martinis
No weenies
Just the king
And the queen-ie
Katy my lady
(Yeah)
You're lookin'here baby
(Uh huh)
I'm all up on you
Cause you representin California
(Ohhh yeahh)

[Katy Perry - Chorus]
California gurls
We're unforgettable
Daisy Dukes
Bikinis on top
Sun-kissed skin
So hot
We'll melt your Popsicle
Oooooh oh oooooh

California gurls
We're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce
We got it on lock
Westcoast represent
(Westcoast, Westcoast)
Now put your hands up
Oooooh oh oooooh

Snoop Dogg:
(Californiaaa, Californiaaa)
California girls man
I wish they all could be
California girls
(Californiaaa)
I really wish
You all could be
California girls
(Californiaaa, girls)

So I think I am right to assume that Perry is attempting to point out how great girls from Cali are. Well, they wear daisy dukes with bikini tops. They are really tan. So tan, in fact, that they will melt your popsicle - which is CLEARLY an innuendo for penis. I don't know about you, but I don't know any guy who would want some chick to melt their dick. Give 'em a boner maybe but melt the thing entirely? That's some serious fucked up S&M shit Katy.

According to Katy, it seems that all California girls do is party ("sippin gin and juice") and fuck on the beach wearing stilettos. Oh nope, wait I'm wrong. They fuck in their jeeps too. Doggie style right up on the dashboard. MAN I wanna be a California girl! No fair!!

Don't forget about Snoop Dog. He likes his Cali girls "Toned, tanned, fit and ready." Ready for what, you may ask? Ready for them to melt his dick off? Perhaps. Or maybe he is ready to "kiss her, touch her, squeeze her buns". Katy obviously likes it - you can hear her let out some sort of orgasmic moan in the background. (Wait a minute, isn't she engaged to Russel Brand? What will Russel think?!). I dunno about you, but if Snoop Dog came up to me on a beach and started kissing me and squeezing my buns - I would not think it was orgasmic. That fucker would have a lawsuit on his hands. But it's okay, cuz Snoop is totally justified in his actions: "I'm all up on you cause you representin California". OHHH okay. So if some guy jumps out of the bushes and rapes me, it's alright because I'm representin the GTA. Gotcha.

Snoop sums up his input into the matter by saying "I really wish you all could be California girls". So, you wish all girls, all females, could be toned, tanned, fit, and "ready" to be groped and have their ass smacked or squeezed at the drop of a hat? "Ready" to fuck on the beach wearing high heels and bend over for you in your car? Ready to be sexual objects for men? I guess that explains Katy Perry's cupcake breasts in the music video. We are food for men to devour.

I always wonder....are these female artists who make this kind of music aware of the message they are sending to women or, more importantly, young girls? Or are they themselves buying into this garbage? Honestly, I don't know which one is worse.

Katy is saying (very bluntly, in fact) that girls from California are so amazingly awesome because of what they look like, the clothes that they wear, how much sex they have, and how much they party. Why is it these kinds of things that define a woman?

Snoop Dog just adds to the bullshit confirming that yes, this is indeed what men look for in a woman and that he wishes ALL women could be like this. He also sends the message that sexual harassment is okay and that girls like it! No wonder so many men hoot and holler at women on the streets and think it's funny to grab an ass or two at a bar.

It is songs like these (and the music videos that accompany them) that make prepubescent teen girls run out and buy push up bras, go to a tanning salon, develop eating disorders and the like and, in turn, make guys think it is okay, that it is their right, to objectify and harass women.

Sadly, this isn't the only Katy Perry song that exemplifies these kinds of messages.

But that's for another post.



http://current.com/shows/infomania/target-women/