Last night I was witness to a conversation between two guys I know about strippers. One of them made this statement:
“I don’t like paying $20.00 for only 3 minutes”.
Obviously, he is referring to lap dances.
What gets me about this statement – and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in addition to making me feel sick to my stomach – was that a) you are voluntarily and consciously attending a venue where men sit and watch women get naked for entertainment purposes and, furthermore, you request, pay, and partake in a lapdance where a woman grinds and dances her naked body all up on your for your entertainment and pleasure (I have a hard time figuring out why men want this – what is the reason behind it? I’m pretty sure there are rules set out to ensure that you, “the customer”, can’t touch her. So, what? Does it give you a stiffy? Is that what you get out of it?), b) you don’t think that she is worth $20.00, and c) you are determining her “value” based on what she can do for you – sexually.
You spend more than $20.00 on a meal, you spend more than $20.00 filling up your gas tank, you spend more than $20.00 on a tshirt, snowboarding equipment, a bottle of wine, a pair of shoes, your cell phone bill – you spend more than $20.00 on all of these day to day material things but $20.00 is too much to ask for a woman to take off her clothes and give you a lap dance??
That’s fucked.
While I don’t think that women should have any dollar value placed upon them or mark their worth, it happens and will continue to happen. It’s the individuals who further perpetuate this notion that I want to ring by the neck. It’s those who attend strip clubs that I have an issue with, especially when you complain about how the dollar you are spending is unreasonable. This is a woman we’re talking about here – a human being – and to say that she isn’t worth $20.00 of your paycheque, $20.00 that you probably spend on the most frivolous of things, is utterly dehumanizing. You are saying that she is less than the meal you paid for last night or that DVD you bought yesterday.
What would be a “reasonable” price for you then? Would you rather she do it for free? Do you feel like she owes it to you because she is a stripper and that’s her job? I guess because she is a stripper and is therefore “not a real person” you feel like she is just a faceless body or a tool used to entertain you sexually. She has no real feelings or a family or lifestyle to pay for, right?
I asked the two guys: “You pay for lapdances?”
“Yeah, we have before.”
Me: “That’s gross.”
And the response?
“You’re a girl – of course you don’t get it.”
I don’t get it? The reason I DO get it is because I’m a fucking girl, you morons. I live this shit. And it’s ignorant fucks like you who promote the degradation of women and make girls like me feel the impact of it everyday.
I know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteI feel like it's bad enough that 'manliness' is all about exploiting women right now, but if guys want to discuss their womanizing then I wish they'd do it amongst people they know well enough to know they won't be offending or making feel uncomfortable.
It's just depressing that objectification is so commonplace that it has become the subject of casual work banter. No good.
I hear what you guys are saying. But to step away from the feminist point and bring out how people as a whole are generally objectified.
ReplyDeleteGo to the now magazine and just check out the escorts, woman and men alike. You think, "who would actually call this?", but the truth is the adds are and there and are still there because they are being used. That is what is truly disgusting. I think I am gonna blog about it.
Agreed.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, there are male strippers. However, the set up, execution, and atmosphere of their strip shows are entirely different. Where both men and women are allowed to view the female strippers - no men are permitted to watch the male strippers. So everyone and their brother is allowed to sit and objectify the women but not the men. Furthermore, female strippers give their lap dances in private rooms whereas the males do it out in the open infront of the audience and it is more of a lighthearted and joking mood (you can pay to have a slow dance with the male) than a serious and sexual one. The atmosphere of the male strip rooms are focused more on fantasy (dressing up in themed costumes) and fun and do not have the same sexual tone as the females.
I have only been to one male strip joint (because I had never been before and wanted to see what it was like) and what I found to be the most bothersome was that the males had towels to cover their penises. You don't see the women upstairs using towels to cover up and if they did, they would probably be booed offstage. The nakedness is, in my opinion, the sole reason why people attend these venues. So why is it that the male strippers are allowed to cover up with a towel and the women are not?
Plus, there is a big difference between strippers and escorts.
I definitely agree that men are objectified but I do not think that they are objectified to the extent that women are.